Hello, friends, and welcome to the penultimate episode of Wynonna Earp season four. In the previous episode, we were left with so many cliffs hanging that we wondered how the writers could possibly tie everything up in two episodes. Well, surprise! They tied them up in one, and now we are, allegedly, just left with a WayHaught wedding, but — well, I’m getting ahead of myself. Be patient; we’ll get there. So grab your bird of choice, check your vamp status, and be sure to book your stay at the Boobie Munch Salon for a full makeover, because here we go! 

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Rachel goes to Wynonna for training, Waverly grabbed her own book from the Garden but it’s blank, Cleo helped Wynonna, Mercedes got shot, oh, yeah, and Waverly paid a visit to Jolene in the Boobie Munch Cabin and was compelled to take her final form, which appears to be of a dark angel of sorts. Neat, right? Just a regular day in Purgatory.

The BBD agents drag shot Mercedes’ bleeding body into the cell with the rest of the food, and that’s only an issue because the bloodsucking vampire dentist is having trouble controlling his hunger. He begs Jeremy to hold him back, but one groiny BBD nerd can only do so much. 

In the forest, Wynonna is staring at Waverly’s final form, which has evolved even more (or she’s taking a trip to the Boobie Munch Salon for the works). She can’t stop staring because baby girl is both beautiful and terrible. Bonus — she has also de-fogged the GRT. She’s speaking in a bit of a disembodied voice and of Waverly in the third person, like she’s a third-rate professional wrestler trying to act like she’s more important than she is. This is maybe even more concerning than the whole goth makeover, but I’m sure it’s fine.

Wynonna begs her Waverly to come back, but she’s not in the mood for chit-chat. She’s got places to go and people to see — well, place to go and people to protect by locking up the Garden. Wynonna refuses to let her sister go, so Dark Waverly puts her hand on her face and I totally thought for a moment that she was going to face-drain Wynonna, too, but whew! Not this time. Wynonna’s just blind, so we’re cool.

Wynonna asks why, and the dark version of her sister calmly answers, “Because it’s her turn, Wynonna.” Man, no one is letting Wynonna take a turn these days.

In the woods, Cleo asks a gun-holding Rachel how training is going and taunts her about (not) being a killer. She tries to poison her against Wynonna, but it’s not working — Rachel believes in her family, and Wynonna is a part of that. Cleo tells Rachel she just wants to leave the GRT and the rest is just confetti, doubling down on Evil Wynonna, saying that just because Rachel considers her family doesn’t mean it’s reciprocal. Oh, and Wynonna totally lied — Billy’s definitely the Reaper du jour. 

Jolene’s hair from the ritual goes up in flame, meaning Jolene won’t be taking anyone’s man anytime soon. But now that the Reaper has been de-victim’d, he’ll be turning on his most hated enemy — an Earp…unless Rachel acts now and helps Cleo with a de-Reaping.

Mercedes is still bleeding and writhing on the floor in pain, and Doc is having trouble controlling himself. Jeremy’s trying to tend to her while werewolf Freddy pleads with Doc to stop. So everything at BBD is going great, too.

Rachel is doing a Reaper ritual and squeezing her blood onto a rock. Cleo tells her it’s working, but I can’t tell if she’s serious or if there are worse consequences to the “tie you guys together forever” threat she drops like it’s just a casual weather fact. Rachel keeps asking if they’re close and Cleo keeps telling her a facetious yes, and that’s rude because Rachel is the purest soul in Purgatory and lying to her should be illegal.

Wynonna’s still blind and still lost in the forest, but yet somehow she remains sexy. She’s wandering aimlessly and searching for help and seems to have found the opposite of that in a gloved, finger-horned, snarling demon that’s nearby. Her one-track mind is, of course, Waverly, and she’s just trying to get to safety. She even offers to make out with whoever’s stalking her if they’re at least a 5/6 out of ten. She runs and falls and looks up into the face of Reaper Billy, but she just quietly asks if it’s Waverly before screaming for help. Spoiler — no, it is not.

Wynonna runs through the forest blindly, screaming for her sister. She again runs into Billy the Reaper, but good news — the de-reap has taken. It’s just original-flavor Billy now, who very nicely hands Peacemaker to her, and Wynonna almost cries at being reunited with…something, at least. Billy’s also in disbelief at the de-Reaping, and he offers to help guide Wynonna back to safety.

Freddy is ready to let Doc loose, and the vampire points out that Mercedes is toast, and not the good kind you make in the oven, but he’d like to eat her anyway. Jeremy senses it’s a losing battle, but he tries anyway. He tells the man who he thinks of as his brother that he’s not saving Mercedes’ life, per se. He’s saving Doc’s soul — if he did this, he wouldn’t be able to live with himself. He says if Doc wants to feed on a human, fine — make a snack out of Jeremy but leave Mercedes alone. This finally does the trick and Doc is able to calm his hunger. Pretty good hero speech, Jeremy, and don’t mind me if I chanted “kiss kiss kiss” just a little bit.

Doc keeps trying to pull the bars off, but this is one bar he can’t knock over. Freddy can’t help, because of his werewolf allergy to iron. I bet he can’t even drink IC Light. Weakly, Mercedes points out that she’s dying and being immortal really fits her whole vibe, so why don’t they give that a try? They make sure to get consent to convert this Mercedes, and when she enthusiastically agrees, Doc makes her the Angel to his Darla.

Nicole is still wandering in the woods and she tries to raise Wynonna on the walkie, which apparently didn’t die after all. Then she gets some BBD interference on her walkie, and she’s able to pick up the plan for the Noah protocol, code red, and killing all of the townspeople. Well, maybe if BBD were going to eliminate all of the chickens, she’d let this one slide, but the townspeople, even the ones that didn’t vote for her or tried to propose to her girlfriend? Not on her watch, missy. She makes the decision to let Wynonna save her sister and heads to BBD to make things Haught.

Mercedes, looking a thousand percent more alive now that she’s undead, laments the loss of her veneers, and helps the other dentist she knows bust out of their cell. Newly turned, she’s not as great at whatever vegan lifestyle Doc has adopted, but I can think of several people who would gladly let Mercedes Gardner drain them in any way she wanted, so I think it’s fine. 

They free their fellow caged humans and demons and knock out the BBD agents, grabbing keycards along the way…and maybe a snack for the road. Suddenly, some type of bisexual lighting alarm starts flashing, and Doc and Jeremy know they’re in for it.

Wynonna can suddenly see, so at least Dark Waverly had the generosity enough to make it fast-acting blindness. She finds the remnants of Rachel’s blood sacrifice, but no Cleo or Rachel. Billy finds his covenant tooth, and they realize that Cleo took Rachel as leverage. Wynonna doesn’t want to find them because it’s clearly a trap, but Billy says it doesn’t matter. Trap or no, Rachel is in danger and needs some saving. Since Waverly isn’t Waverly anymore but Rachel is still Rachel, she knows who needs her help more. Since this Reaper thing didn’t pan out, maybe Billy should look into a future as a motivational speaker or gunslinging vampire dentist. 

Billy goes to look for help because, as the old saying goes, you can’t go home again or you’ll get re-Reaped. Wynonna tells Peacemaker it’s just the two of them to save the day, but she doesn’t want a repeat of last time. She wants things to be different.

Wynonna hopes that some time has healed Dark Waverly’s wounds, but it looks like it just made them worse. She stands over BBD headquarters, wings spread, watching it burn as it’s screaming with chaos. Turns out it’s time for a smoke break, so she grabs a fallen agent’s Virginia Slim and decides to take five. She ruminates about how there’s always a crisis (CRISIS) with humans, and I suppose that’s true…on infinite earths, you could even say.

Doc and his band of merry humans and demons are free from their cells but can’t open the door to get out. Just as they are starting to get gassed, a keypad beeps and the door opens. It’s our old friend General Graham, technically, although he was motivated to open the door by Nicole and her sidearm. He can’t believe she’s letting all of these demons go, but Nicole knows these demons can’t help that they were born this way. Nicole’s running an inclusive town, and the only thing it won’t tolerate is intolerance, so General Graham needs to general scram.

Nicole tells Jeremy they need to get the townspeople to safety, but he’s worried about the sneaky-snake fog that just keeps on rollin’, rollin’, rollin’. He grabs a Garden Fog Scanner™ and checks out the situation, but good news — it’s fog free since ‘93! Or at least the last little bit.  

Doc can hear a voice calling to him, and he has to get ready for…something. Don’t know what. Everyone’s like, “Okay, cool, no prob, weirdo.” Since he’s unaffected by the gas, he heads inside to get his guns and any stragglers, and everyone looks at him like he’s being weird and not acting like a gunslinging vampire dentist, but they just go along with it and let him leave. You know, for “stragglers.”

Wynonna cautiously steps foot onto Clanton ground and finds a digital well full of smelly, screaming Reapers. Is this where all that moisturizer is going?

Cleo and Rachel are in Mam’s hoarding shanty, and Cleo still clearly has complicated feelings about her mother. The more she talks about Mam, the more it seems like she and Ward were one missed connection away from a perfect union. Rachel tells her that her mother was a hero, but Cleo is a little short on empathy today. All she cares about is moving on from the weight of her family curse. 

Speaking of heirs and curses, Wynonna shows up and unties Rachel. Cleo’s thrilled, because she’s been waiting, and then the Reaper-formerly-shot-in-the-back-by-Peacemaker shows up. Cleo didn’t do it; the Clantons just turn into Reapers when they die, unless, of course, they’re fed to other Reapers before they have the chance to turn, which is why we won’t be reunited next with an even grosser version of Mam. 

Turns out Mam was keeping secrets from her kin, too, about the weight of being the Clanton heir. Cleo is constantly feeling the pressure of all of her Reaper family wanting revenge, wanting food, asking for moisturizer, probably. They never sleep, and it seems like she hasn’t gotten much lately, either. But Cleo is another smart one, because she has a plan. 

Wynonna begs her to call the Reapers off, but she should know better the weight and responsibility of a curse that you can’t just walk away from, especially when every single Reaper is pulling at your soul. So Cleo’s not going to run from the curse; she’s making the curse run from her. She’s transferring it to her family’s greatest enemy, and Wynonna will kill everyone she loves. 

Wynonna doesn’t want history repeating itself, so she gives Rachel Peacemaker and tells her to run. Cleo brands a rock, and presumably this will not end well.

Across town, Doc is readying his weaponry and trying to ignore the voices in his head when he finds Dark Waverly outside, though that’s not the name she answers to anymore. “A scion of the great guardian, Julian” feels like a mouthful, so we’ll just go with Dark Waverly for the purposes of this recap. Doc tries to get her to leave, but she’s looking for what’s hers — the book. If he hands it over, she’ll be on her way home, but Doc knows that this is home; it’s this world that when they’re here, they’re family. Just like Jeremy did for him, Doc stands up to Dark Waverly for the Waverly Earp that’s still inside, because he knows that she wouldn’t want this. 

This dentist/angel standoff is interrupted by a searing pain — it’s the Clanton brand being burned onto Doc’s hand. She tells him that he has seen what’s coming so he knows what’s about to happen, but Wynonna taught him that there’s always a different way. He’s the only one who can write his story, too. When Dark Waves starts to go for the book, her timing sucks because Doc is transported elsewhere.

Back at the Clanton ranch, Cleo’s on the ground and Wynonna doesn’t feel any differently. Cleo thinks it didn’t work, but it just didn’t work how she expected. The Earps weren’t her family’s greatest enemy; it was Doc mother-stachin’ Holliday, the new Clanton heir. So…I guess congrats are in order for Cleo, since the spell worked. Good for you!

Doc forces Wynonna to the center of a stone pillar circle for a showdown. You remember the one — with magic barriers so they can’t leave. The Reapers are screaming and want to see the Earp heir be defeated — all but Cleo, who peaces out with a “good luck!” thrown at Wynonna as she speeds away in a convertible that puts Doc’s old pink Caddy to shame. It’s a win/win for her — she gets out from underneath the crushing pressure and guilt of her own curse and is able to ruin the lives of two of her enemies in the meantime. It’s an impressive plan, honestly. I don’t think Mam would be proud of you, but I am. I mean, I don’t want you raining down pain and destruction on my faves, but I can still be impressed at the plan. Cleo grew up in as much of an abusive household as the Earp girls did, if not worse, so no matter the methods, I can’t help but cheer that Cleo is getting free.

Wynonna tries to flirt her away out of danger, but Doc doesn’t seem super into it at this time (“The next time I step on Earp whore land, it will be to coat it in the blood of your kin.”) Wynonna wants Doc to leave her friends out of it, but Wynonna always wanted to involve them, so Doc’s taking them down, too. Again, Doc is begged to remember who he is inside, underneath the vampire teeth and underneath the curse he’s just had thrust upon him. It doesn’t take, though, and even though it’s not dawn, Doc challenges her to a duel. The Clantons have had enough pain and suffering thanks to the Earps and Doc Holliday, and he’s confident the family who holds his curse will prevail.

Thanks, Hamilton, for teaching me how a duel works.

Wynonna refuses to fight and doesn’t even have a weapon, but Peacemaker has a great flair for timing. Reaper Holt is holding Rachel hostage and forces her to throw the weapon in the supernatural hexagon. Wynonna refuses to pick up Peacemaker, so Doc threatens to kill Rachel if she doesn’t. Wynonna agrees, but terms and conditions will apply.

Doc agrees to spare Rachel if Wynonna picks up the gun, and she knows she’s out of options. She blames Peacemaker for being a jerk — she’s not mad, just disappointed. They’ve really come a long way together. She tells Doc what a waste it was for him to have been working towards being a better man, if it’s all just going to end with him killing her. The Doc-shaped meat suit insists that Doc is dead, but Wynonna knows that dying is just an inconvenience for Doc Holliday. He’s come back from that before, and he can fight through this, too. He’s not the Clanton heir; he’s a fuck-up, like Wynonna. Like Casey. And he’s a fuck-up who’s been trying to be a better man. And didn’t Doc tell us just a little while ago that you can be a fuck-up and a hero, too?

Doc asks her to raise her weapon so they can have a fair fight, and Wynonna knows that’s one thing any iteration of Doc Holliday would want. 

BBD is still just a musterbluck of chaos. Nicole’s leading the previously incarcerated demons to a truck for an escape, and when she gets to the cab, Jeremy’s immediately struck with groin pain over her. She’s…confused, to say the least, but the bottom line is this — Jeremy will get everyone to safety. Nicole needs to go to the Stairs — am assuming the Garden ones but am happy to be proven wrong — because she’s “the only one she won’t hurt.” 

Nedley’s mixing himself a sadness cocktail at Shorty’s — banana liqueur, water, and a cocktail umbrella — but his pity party is interrupted by a still un-un-dead Billy. Nedley’s impressed at his growth spurt — he’s grown an entire body! — but still manages to look exhausted when Billy asks him for help. But when he hears Rachel and Wynonna are in trouble, he’s in for helping, doubly so when Billy asks if he’s good at incantations. Good thing he keeps his holy book and ceremonial wolf head behind the bar in case of emergencies! 

Wynonna and Doc turn around and are walking their traditional ten paces and Rachel tries to convince her that the first saving was good enough; no need for a repeat. But Rachel should know by now there she’s safe — with family like this, there are no boundaries.

Doc counts down from five and turns around, but Wynonna stays where she is, her back to him. It’s his refusal to shoot her in the back that proves that our Doc is still inside the Doc meat suit. She knows his code, the one she never should have broken, because it broke them. 

But he’s not Doc anymore, and the Clantons have no code.

When he aims and cocks his gun, Wynonna fires Peacemaker into the magic barrier, and the bullet comes out in Reaper Holt’s temple. Doc fires, but the bullet explodes backwards out of the chamber, hitting him. She tells Rachel to run and Doc that she can’t believe he fired, but then she sees — he loaded his gun at BBD with the wrong bullets because he saw the future that awaited him and he couldn’t bear the thought of shooting his greatest love. 

There really is always another way.

At Shorty’s, Nedley and Billy are incanting their little hearts out, trying to bring the curse back to its rightful place. The brand sears Billy’s hand and he screams in pain, so it seems like it may be working. He commands the Reapers to stand down, and it works. They’re not after Doc and Wynonna anymore, at least for now.

Doc wants Wynonna to end it by shooting him with Peacemaker, but that’s just too much to ask. She can’t do it, even if he’s done with this life. His pain will stop, but hers will continue forever. She knows it’s wrong, and so does he, but he still wants it. He’s tired and still selfish enough to ask her to do this.

She steps away, insisting there’s another way, and Dark Waverly, sounding like my mother suggests that perhaps a miracle may do the trick. 

Dark Waverly talks a bit about how curious it is that humans know fate is inevitable but they still try to change it. Wynonna can’t believe this dark angel in front of her is the same baby sister she’s been protecting her whole life. She suggests that maybe it is time for a miracle, and Dark Baby Girl agrees that he does have regret for all of his transgressions, but he’s lived more than his fair share of lifetimes already. But so what — she’s no stranger to breaking rules, but Dark Waves points out that Wynonna herself was the only reason Waverly got up from the Garden throne and abandoned her post. Wynonna’s negotiating her heart out for Doc’s life right now and throwing everything out at this shadow of her sister. The heir gets on her knees and begs — she’s lost everything, and if she’s going to lose her last sister, too, at least let her final act be to save Doc. Give the champion this one final sister act.

Waverly wants the book back so she can return it to the Garden, because I assume the overdue fees there are out of this world. Wynonna’s had a taste of negotiating now, and she can’t seem to stop — if Waverly saves Doc first, she can have the book back.

Dark Waverly gingerly places her hands on Doc’s head and, in a reverse Bobo/Mam Clanton, breathes life into him. Doc feels different than before and wonders what Dark Waverly did to him, but the angel is distracted by her bleeding nose since her human flesh bag is fragile. 

Wynonna hands the book over and at the same time tearfully begs Waverly not to go. With a final look at her sister, Dark Waverly walks away and says that Wynonna’s sister did this for her and her sister “loved her very much.” 

Dark Waverly hears the Reapers screaming and Holt is begging her to make his pain stop. Channeling her best Red Daughter, with a bolt of lightning from her hands, she turns them all into magpies and they fly away from the Clanton ranch.

Dark Waverly has made her way to the Garden stairs but is just part way up before the sheriff finds her. She tries to chase her up the stairs, because history, but can’t get in and bounces off the barrier. Dark Waves tells her to go away, as this is none of her concern, but clearly she’s new in town because Nicole’s supposed to marry the body that Dark Waverly is renting out and that means it’s definitely her business. She insists the gate has to be closed and she’s the only one who can do it, but seems like everyone in Purgatory is stuck in the bargaining phase today. She refuses to stay behind again because “where you go, I go, remember?” Nicole’s humanity means she can’t follow her girl to the Garden, where she’s destined to be the failsafe who protects the Ghost River Triangle. Nicole tries to convince her that Wynonna could do this job, since she’s the champion and the sword-wielder, but, channeling original-flavor Waverly, she doesn’t want to burden Wynonna anymore. She’s given up enough.

Oh, wait, did someone say “protect”? Good news, demon angel — standing in front of you is the fast-talking sheriff of Purgatory, who agrees to become the protector of the entire GRT. Everything good in her life is because she came back to the Ghost River Triangle, and she’s willing to make the GRT her Hotel California and never leave. Anything is worth being able to go where Waverly goes. You know, as long as it’s local. 

Dark Waverly did break the rules already to save Doc, and Nicole says that she bets it feels pretty good now that she has a taste for it. Nicole tells her to look in the book and see that Waverly’s story is Nicole’s story, but the book belongs to the Garden, just like she does. Nicole runs into the barrier again and begs her to check the book, and Dark Waverly gasps at what she sees. She can’t believe that Nicole is willing to give up so much, but Nicole points out that everything she loves is already in the GRT.

Deciding to break the rules a second time, another bolt of lightning flies from Dark Waverly’s hands to Nicole, and Nicole vows to be bound to the Ghost River Triangle as long as she lives, vowing to be patient and just and to be the angel’s shield. With a final burst of lightning, Nicole is thrown from the barrier and along the forest floor. Dark Waverly has lightened up and is original Waverly now and, thinking quickly, throws the book into the Garden door before it closes.

Waves runs to her unconscious girlfriend and tries to wake her up, placing a delicate kiss on her lips just in case all of those fairy tales were right (and knowing she has consent for all of their days). This does the trick and Nicole wakes up, but then winces in pain from a new tattoo she’s gotten at the metaphorical Boobie Munch Salon.There’s no doubt that she’s the angel’s shield now, and she’s got the ink to prove it.

Waverly can’t believe that Nicole sacrificed herself for her, but Nicole points out that she didn’t really promise anything she wasn’t planning to do already — just a perpetual hang with the love of her life in their hometown. 

General Graham stumbles outside of BBD HQ and demands that Jeremy call, well, everyone. But Jeremy isn’t feeling it. When the red emergency phone rings, he tells them that everything’s fine but, unfortunately, General Graham didn’t make it. Graham can’t believe Jeremy is siding with the demons, but he doesn’t get it — Purgatory’s very fabric is woven with demons, and Black Badge was just making things worse by trying to quilt with it. He makes his prophecy about Graham come true by inviting Freddy the florist to have a mid-day snack.

The gang is at Shorty’s, except for Nedley, Rachel, and Billy, who are having celebratory “we’re alive!” burgers in The Big City. Everyone’s pretty excited that they can travel without a hardcore fog advisory now, but regardless of the weather, Wynonna just keeps putting blanket upon blanket on Doc to keep him warm and cozy. The two of them just look so happy with the weight of the world off their shoulders and surrounded with a metaphorical weighted blanket.

Wynonna leans in for some mustache time and Nicole interrupts them with a clearing of her throat, because she wants to talk about “the issue at hand.” Dark Waverly’s taking a permanent vacation for now. A Doc-hatted Jeremy wonders if Nicole is talking about Black Badge and tells everyone that they’ve also retreated for now.

Doc is distracted by his reflection — understandable just on a base level and also because he didn’t have one for so long. Yes, that’s right — now he’s just a regular old gunslinging dentist/former vampire, thanks to Dark Angel Waves and his desire to be a better person. He tells Wynonna he wants a fresh start, and this is the best news she’s heard since they found out kombucha would de-ogre Nedley.

Nicole interrupts them again because none of them guessed what she wanted to talk about — it’s the wedding. She’s ready to marry Waverly, and why wait? It’s time to have ourselves some nuptials.

Dominique Provost-Chalkley delivered another amazing performance this week as she completely morphed into Dark Waverly. Her mannerisms, her voice, her speech patterns, her body language — all completely different from the Earpiest Earp that we know and love. 

Oh, yeah, and what about Waverly’s book? Is it still blank? Does it remain unwritten? Or since Nicole has taken this heavenly burden from her, she can finally have a future now?

It’s a well-documented fact that this show has zero budget, and it’s always so impressive to me what they do with their fourteen Canadian dollars. Wynonna running through the woods was so scary, primarily because of the camera work and the music. 

The scene with Doc and Jeremy in the cell when Mercedes was dying is one of their best together. The dialogue was warm, heartfelt, and believable, and Varun and Tim made me feel all of the things. Jeremy, the jagged little nerd who never felt like he belonged, trusted Doc enough to be willing to sacrifice himself, and with a little bit of hero speech, Doc was able to push through. Jeremy’s gained such confidence since we first met him, and I just loved this moment for him.

I really liked the little moment with Nicole and Dark Waverly where Nicole is told the Garden isn’t for her “kind.” First of all, it’s not the first time Nicole has been “the wrong kind” in this show. Second, judging from the look on her face, she didn’t think her humanity was being referred to, but rather her sexuality. The weight and pressure of our upbringing is constantly at war with a lot of us queer people, even if we think we’ve come to terms with it, and Dark Waverly teling Nicole her kind isn’t welcome there really flips her switch for a moment. I appreciated the fact that this heavenly being reassured her it was just her non-supernatural qualities, not her sapphic ones, that were barring her from the Garden.

“Why?” “Because it’s her turn, Wynonna.” And that’s it in a nutshell, isn’t it? All this time, Waverly has wanted to be important. She wanted to break the curse, she wanted everyone to like her, she wanted her father to love her and pay attention to her. And now she technically has what she’s wanted all along, but be careful what you wish for, right? Because this isn’t how she wanted it to happen. She didn’t want to turn into an emotionless shell just to play a part in everyone’s story. 

And so what happens? Her person steps up, another woman who’s been struggling to find her place and where she belongs — and make sure that it’s done the right way. Nicole, who was left out of the blood oath with Black Badge, who often felt like she was the third wheel around her girlfriend and her sister, who literally got left behind when she broke her leg and Wynonna went to the Garden to save Waverly, is the one who gets her hero moment and to save her fiancee from a fate of sitting in one chair the rest of her life. And all it cost her was the agreement never to leave the Ghost River Triangle. A pretty good bargain, some would say. I am some. I say that. It’s a small price to pay to save the woman you love from a life alone.

This episode covered so much ground and made me feel all of the emotions — I shouted and jumped and cried and laughed and basically any other thing you can think of. The number of times the tension was broken with a self-deprecating joke or some gallows humor really just drove home the point that Emily Andras could comfortably spend time in my brain. I have been through some shit and the only way I’ve gotten through it has been making light of it, you know? So it really speaks to me when other characters do that, and this episode had highs of jokes to match its valleys of anxiety. 

There was so much sacrifice this week, with just about everyone saying “If I can’t be with you in whatever way, I don’t want to be here anymore.” It really drives home how important this family is and how lost they’d be if they had never found each other, and it made all of the stakes even higher. Doc, Jeremy, Wynonna, Waverly, and Nicole all said or acted on some form of this, and you could tell they really believed it. 

It feels right that Emily wrote these last two episodes…which may really be the last two ever, since we don’t know if it’s returning for season five. This show wouldn’t exist in the form we know it without any of the people involved, really, but it wouldn’t exist at all without Emily Andras. She’s given Wynonna and the group their heart, their sass, their bravery, and their fight, and she’s given a lot of us the family we never knew was possible. 

If there’s one thing Wynonna and Emily have taught me, it’s that there’s always another way, so I haven’t given up hope yet.

I may be the only one who can write my story, but I feel like Emily Andras would do a pretty good job of it, too.

Monica’s Random Points of Randomness:

• Of course Mercedes was worried about her outfit. Of course she was.
• I love that Jeremy was making a cross with his hands to keep Doc away from Mercedes.
• Shout-out to the vampire Mercedes, who I hope gets her own spin-off. And nice foreshadowing of the first time we saw her, performing in the Glory Hole, with her fake fangs. We were so naive, so emotional. We had no idea what was to come. If we are blessed with a season five, I would love to see her manning the Glory Hole again, but this time in more of a managerial position.
• Nicole was sad that they didn’t have time to get “Memento” tattoos, but life, uh, finds a way, doesn’t it?
• I’m honestly surprised it’s taken four years for that “master baiter” line.
• “I am a scion of the great guardian, Julian” okay, but he left his post and fathered a child, so let’s temper our use of the word “great” here, huh?
• Wynonna and Doc in a duel makes my heart hurt.
• If Waverly has scars from where Jolene cut room for her wings, might I suggest a course of coconut oil?
• Sheriff “I’m not a bride” is the one to bring up the wedding? Yeah, that feels right.

Monica’s Favorite Lines:

• The affairs of man are no longer my concern. I mean, same.
• I’m no man. I’m the woman who will not watch you become this…thing.
• Waverly…don’t leave me alone in the dark!
• I’ve got you, Earp. Simple, familiar, but those four little words do a lot more lifting than they should.
• Vamp permission granted. Now get over here and suck me off already!
• What are you, a ‘90s modeling agency? I will eat who I want. No more diets!
• Let’s fuck it up.
• Looks like it’s just you and me. Let’s do it differently this time. 
• Humans. Always a crisis. (CRISIS)
• Some of these foods are human beings!
• He’s also my florist.
• You see, General, our town here? It’s pretty inclusive.
• What is it, sire? There goes all my feminist street cred. 
• I do not need a prison to best you, but your fear gets them excited.
• You want me to do an OK — hey, maybe even a Great Corral with you, I’m gonna need some assurances.
• Corral your emotions, dude.
• Honestly, Haught, you can’t just interrupt intimate moments like that.
• You’re still the champion. And the Earp heir. And my favorite sister. Top two, top two.

So everything’s tied up and all the baddies are gone, and all that’s left is hugs and puppies and what promises to be a problem-free WayHaught wedding that we all deserve after this terrible year. I’m sure there won’t be any surprises or drama and just a happy ending as we wait for word on season five. Right?

Right?

I’ll see you back here next time, friends, because for one more week…

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 10/9c on SYFY and CTV Sci-Fi.

Hello, friends, and welcome to another episode of Wynonna Earp! The first three episodes of the back half of Season 4B were a necessary breath of fresh air after the suffocating feel of this panoramic pizzelle. But Purgatory seems to have found its demon legs, because shit is going down. So grab your gas mask, check your back for angel wings, and be sure to honor the chili friends we made along the way, because here we go.

Previously on Wynonna Earp, Wynonna shot Holt in the back and has been a little bit wacky, Rachel’s not-quite-ex is a Reaper now, there’s a mind-altering fog that’s been oozing into the Ghost River Triangle from the Garden, a werewolf exists, and — oh, yeah, Waverly grabbed that book from the Garden and brought it home, but we don’t know which one. 

We open on a montage of Wynonna waking up in the barn, grabbing and loading Peacemaker, sending demons to meet their maker, and stumbling back to bed. Over and over and over. And over. And over. She’s getting a little more worn out the more it happens, her eyes growing more haunted and the whiskey growing more frequent. She keeps doing it, day after day, whimsical shirt after whimsical shirt paired with leather pants, but it’s really grating on her. Except one morning, she wakes up clutching her holster, the gun nowhere to be found.

Wynonna panics and runs into the main house, grilling WaveNic about where her gun boss could be. She’s sad that there aren’t any coffee or doughnuts, but Nicole reminds her that supplies haven’t been able to get into Purgatory lately, thanks to BBD halting the supply trucks. Wynonna washes down some painkillers with some banana liqueur and explains how she accidentally may have possibly misplaced Peacemaker. You know, again. Waverly calmly asks if instead of a misplacement, could it instead be a blackout. What we have here is an intervention.

Wynonna doesn’t have time for this garbage, because her priority is finding her gun…which, good news, Waverly put in the drawer. They tell her that Wynonna’s acting like the one who’s possessed — not sleeping, hunting all the time, passing out drunk, rinse and repeat. But Wynonna insists she’s not “isolating” herself; she’s hunting alone, and until a new Earp heir or heir-adjacent pops up, she’s the only defense that her family has against any of this supernatural bullshit. 

But to Waverly, Peacemaker is just a gun — Wynonna is Wynonna. Her sister; her hero. And she doesn’t seem dedicated; she seems sad and lonely. She fires back at her sister that not everyone in this world gets a happy ending, scoffing at Waverly’s reminder that Doc loves her, then getting annoyed at the reminder that Nicole and Waverly do, too, then storming out, sans demon-killing gun. 

Waverly runs after her, and Wynonna tearfully shouts at her that the only “problem” she has isn’t a drinking one; it’s a demon one. But Waves isn’t so sure — maybe, like Jeannie last week, her big sister has grown to like the killing, because she’s not just killing demons anymore. Remember Holt? Yeah, she does, but she also remembers Waverly’s kill of Mam Clanton and doesn’t understand why her baby sis is attacking her with a double-standard. I mean, it’s because they were totally different kills, but why confuse her with the facts? Wynonna storms away, hurling insults at the one bright spot in her life, who she feels has finally given up on her.

A sad Waverly finds a sad Nicole and they wrap themselves up in one another, Nicole reassuring her that Wynonna will come around to Waverly’s way of thinking. Waverly starts to doubt if she’s even right at this point — is it better to keep the sad, lonely, drunk Wynonna around, just so she has some form of her sister? Or should she keep pushing, making Wynonna see that she has a serious problem? 

Nicole and her Stetson head to work, and Waverly makes a mysterious call to a mysterious person to meet at a mysterious place and for them to bring a mysterious thing, which, if you played the Mad Libs correctly, was a call to Doc to meet at the Garden stairs, and he brought along Waverly’s book from the Garden. Too bad he doesn’t have that carrying satchel. It complements his eyes.

The book she snatched was her own, and much to everyone’s surprise — theirs and ours — the book is blank. Still. No surprise that Waves took her own book, really — she’s a bit of a rule-follower, that one, and that’s part of the reason why I relate to her so much. She tells Doc to keep the book because she doesn’t want Wynonna to get the wrong idea. Or the right idea, whatever that may be, probably. Any idea, really. Best to keep her in the dark for now, especially with the fight they just had and how Wynonna is definitely not okay.

Waves keeps hoping the book will have answers, but all it is is blank page after blank page, even though Waverly’s own story is filled with people. She thought she’d be able to see everyone’s story by choosing her own, and she doesn’t understand why the Garden would give her something that’s unreadable. Doc says the Garden was full of trickery, but Waverly didn’t see it that way. She felt calm, at peace when she was on the throne. It felt like she had no worries for the rest of her days, which Doc says sounds terrible but Waverly loved. I can see it from both points, really. Doc was alone for so long, and the thought of giving up his love and concern for the people he finally has seems like the worst-possible hell for him. But Waverly, who may not have the full weight of being the heir but has to help shoulder the burdens of Wynonna, of being one of the smart ones, of being the one who ultimately “outed” Willa as working with Bobo and who killed him, her one-time protector, and Mam Clanton, her family’s mortal enemy? It sure would be nice to just let all of that go for a while. It’s impressive that she was able to walk away at all, really.

Doc’s two head minions, Dallas and Remy, stumble upon the Garden Pals and just want a little angel-food-cake snack to tide them over. Doc shoots Dallas, but the bullet doesn’t have much of an effect, so Waverly brings out the big gun — literally — and tries to shoot him with Peacemaker, except Peacemaker isn’t as interested in listening to Waverly this time around and just clicks uselessly when she pulls the trigger. Temperamental gun, just like its owner. Or the couple took it before Wynonna did her daily loading.

Regardless, now is the time for the running. Run, Waverly, run! 

At least this time she stayed away from the stairs…but ran head-first into the fog. 

She tries to hold her breath as she stumbles around in the non-Rihanna concert and hears someone calling her name. It’s familiar for some reason, and almost sickly sweet, and she runs towards the cabin where it’s coming from. But familiarity isn’t always a good thing, because the person calling her name was her old demon parasite friend, a newly blond Jolene.

Jol-e-e-ene.

Turns out that, yes, Wynonna shot her, but remember how she was absorbed into that tree? When Bulshar died, the vines released her, and then she got trapped by the fog that Waverly let out of the Garden when she opened it up. Waverly tries to run, but Jolene knocks her out against the pillar in the middle of what looks like Boobie Munch Cabin. 

Dallas reports back that Waverly is lost in the fog, and Doc tries to bargain with the demons, saying if they let her be, they can have whatever their hearts desire at The Glory Hole. Turns out it’s a bad day in Purgatory, because BBD raided The Glory Hole, leaving it empty with no one able to enjoy themselves there. Doc is troubled by this, and then even more troubled when the three of them are tranqed by BBD. 

Rachel finds Wynonna using an actual punching bag this time instead of Nicole, and she asks the heir to train her, since she’s the only one who treats her like she’s not a child. So she’s gone from her baby sister accusing her of turning into Ward Earp to Rachel Valdez, telling her she’s her only hope. And it’s still pretty early in the day.

Cleo is at BBD, trying to get permission to leave the GRT. She thinks her elite position as the magistrate should give her preferential treatment and bump her to the front of the line for exiting this fog-covered hellscape. The Ethel Beavers wannabe handling her case is pushing her paperwork as the door creaks open and a foul stench enters the room. No, it’s not Champ and his Axe body spray, trying to curry favor with the magistrate. It’s Billy the still-reaped Reaper, and he left his bus-of-old-people snack to hang out with his sister. Not-Ethel mentions the recent deaths in her family, which surprises Cleo, but it works in her favor — she’s approved to go through. 

Wynonna is trying to “train” a backpacked Rachel, but the advice she’s giving isn’t super helpful. Rachel accuses her of trying to scare her off, but it isn’t working; they’re family. Wynonna’s counterpoint — they’re not family, which she sees as a compliment, because who in their right mind would want to be an Earp? They always end up alone. Being a Gibson girl is where it’s at.

EarpCheese finds a bleeding Remy and Rachel rushes to help him. Wynonna doesn’t get why she’d help a demon, but Rachel’s world isn’t quite so black and white. She’s just super into Remy’s Halsey cover band. 

Remy explains that Black Badge snatched some of the demons and got rid of some of the others. They took Dallas and Doc, which is better than when Waverly was consumed by the fog, and now Remy has Wynonna’s full attention. Everything is fucked.

Doc and Dallas come to in a jail of sorts, and when Doc asks to speak to Jeremy, the Head Dick in Charge, Graham, says he’s unfamiliar with Agent Chetri. One of Graham’s henchmen identifies Dallas’ demon type, and when they realize they already have one, an agent broils him alive with a flamethrower that would make Waverly jealous. Doc vamps out, and good news for him, they don’t have one of those yet. Doc gets to stay non-flambeed.

Jolene has Waverly tied up to a post in the middle of the cabin, but at least she’s able to sit down, even though her hands are behind her. A “reverse Willa,” if you will. Waverly tells her to stop wasting time — if she’s going to kill her, just do it, already. Jolene apologizes for “triggering” Waverly, and she points out it was more of an attempted destruction sort of situation. But it didn’t work, and that’s all that matters, right? Waves is surrounded by people who love and support her, and she got through it, coming out better on the other side. So to speak.

Jolene says she’s not mad at her better angel half anymore, just sad and wants to help her, really, and Waves calls her a liar and says she’s clearly been in the fog too long. Turns out, though, Jolene is clearer than she’s been in a while — demons are just fallen angels, which is how she sees Waverly…and how she sees herself.

Jolene says they’re kin, even though Waverly may not want to call her “sister.” And I have to say, this is very specific language Jolene uses here. Bobo also called Waverly kin, and we are familiar with two sisters Waverly already has. Is this Jolene in sugar withdrawal, just spouting off whatever enters her demon brain? Or is this foreshadowing? 

Nicole, Wynonna, and Rachel are at the edge of the fog, panicking about lost Waverly and Cleo Clanton and her all-you-can-eat buffet of bus seniors. They haven’t talked to Jeremy in days, and Nicole’s worried, since BBD has been gathering up demons…including Doc, Wynonna decides to mention. Nicole assures her that they’ll get Doc back, and a whole range of emotion passes over Wynonna’s face in a matter of seconds — agreement that they’ll get him back, worry that they won’t, stubbornness that she doesn’t care, and a bunch of stuff in between. Melanie Scrofano, my friends. Melanie Scrofano.

Wynonna’s clear on her priorities, though. Doc is just a vampire dentist who can take care of himself and Cleo is just a Clanton, but Waverly is Waverly. And to help them find her, she calls in Purgatory’s premiere fog expert/chili cooker, Casey. 

Nicole harnesses him up with her climbing gear (that stuff sure has come in handy), and when she and Wynonna both go to suit up, he tells them they must choose, and choose wisely. Only one of them can go. And of course, both think it should be them.

Both make excellent points, but here’s what it boils down to — it’s Nicole’s turn. She had to sit at home for 18 months after Wynonna went into the Garden looking for Waverly. She had to be alone, not knowing if her entire world was okay and if they’d ever come back to her. So it’s Wynonna’s turn to sit back this time. Nicole’s going. And Wynonna agrees, ostensibly so as not to waste time anymore, but really, I think, in part because she wouldn’t forgive herself if she put Nicole through that again, and she knows the only person who would fight as hard for Waverly as her is Haught Dog Shop.

Wynonna is worried that Waverly will channel her inner Robin and rip her face off, but Waverly has much bigger problems than that. Jolene found Waverly’s bag (Waves yelling “that’s mine!” oddly did not deter her) and, in it, Wynonna’s demon-killing gun. But the gun must have been a Dyson shipper, because after only a few minutes, it starts to sizzle and Jolene has to drop it, which Waves tells her is because she’s not worthy. No big, says Jolene, out a different weapon. Time for a bag o’ knives, or at least one, because she owes Waverly pain.

Waverly says Jolene can wave around her knife and threaten her all she wants, because she’s done being afraid of this particular demon. She tells Angel Pants to get comfortable and wanders over to a board with tick marks on it, and Waves asks if that’s a chart of how many days she’s been a guest at Boobie Munch Cabin. Ignoring her for now, Jolene asks (sister to sister!) if Waverly ever gets tired of being the “damsel in distress,” or does she just not want to be a hero…like when she refused to sit on the throne and stop Bulshar. 

But Waverly trusted her actual sister to get rid of that snake in the grass, but Jolene points out the consequences there — Wynonna “drinks herself to sleep every single night” while Waverly is, as she said in the last episode, so close to happy. Is Waverly punishing Wynonna because she’s the chosen one and Waverly wasn’t? 

Waverly, almost looking like she’s convincing herself, insists she’s had Wynonna’s back all along, but not lately, Jolene says. All this angelic power, and what’s she focusing on? Planning a wedding. And I can’t do her response justice without quoting it word for word, so here you go — “Save your patronizing mouth garbage. I can be a hero and a wife.” But that’s not what Jolene is getting at. Waverly has worked so hard all these years to be special — being nice, being perfect, working hard, supporting everyone. And now she is special, but she refuses to tap into an unknown power, because no amount of being special is worth being out of control. 

Jolene turns her head back to the tick marks — those aren’t the days Jolene’s been keeping secrets at Boobie Munch Cabin. They’re Wynonna’s kills — demons and humans both — to save her sister. And all Waverly has to do to make that go away — to let Wynonna sleep through the night, to stop nursing a bottle of whiskey, to try and have a happier life — is to accept who she is and the power that comes along with it. 

And the sister who’s supposed to be the nice one’s response to the possibility that maybe she is the reason her beloved sister — her most special person — has had a terrible life? She headbutts Jolene.

Jol-e-e-ene.

Back at the edge of the fog, Nicole passes Wynonna a walkie-talkie and tells her the signal is three tugs on the line if they need to be pulled back in. Good choice, because frantic groin rubbing would be difficult to see through the fog.

Nicole and Casey mask up and head into the fog, Nicole grabbing his shoulder so she doesn’t get lost. Wynonna and Rachel check in almost immediately, but Nicole can’t see anything, even her chili-cooking tour guide. Casey spots a cabin and the two head towards it, and inside they find a tied-up Waverly. He goes to free her, but there’s sounds of a scuffle and Casey yells for Nicole to get out. After what feels like forever of silence, Nicole gets back on the walkie and tells her she doesn’t know how, but the other thing in the cabin is Jolene.

Jol-e-e-ene.

And we don’t see any of this — we experience it just how Wynonna and Rachel do, through Nicole’s spotty narration and whatever sounds make it over the walkie.

Wynonna doesn’t understand, since, you know, she killed Jolene, and Rachel is insisting they need to pull their friends back in after there are three tugs on the cord. Wynonna doesn’t want to because tugs are tugs but Waverly is Waverly. Rachel insists, and Wynonna does end up helping her. On the other end of the line is a dead Casey but just a sliced rope where Nicole should be.

A panicked Wynonna is shouting for Nicole through the walkie, and finally, Nicole answers. She’s…somewhere, unsure where, and safe, but alone. Waverly is still with Jolene, somewhere in the fog. She screams for Nicole as Jolene slams the door, and Waverly threatens to do…something if Jolene hurts her family. Jolene basically calls her bluff, knowing that Waverly is a wicca who won’t-a, but then Waverly manages to break free of the rope. She points Peacemaker at her worst sister, but it starts to sizzle and she has to drop it. Guess the cabin has nudged our angel more towards the demon side. She charges Jolene and impales her on a coat hook, a wound that echoes on Waverly, and then Jolene stabs her in the back, pulling out a delicate, bloody black feather. 

Wynonna slowly covers Casey with a blanket and tells Rachel they have to leave him, even though Rachel wants to take him home for burial. He’s their friend and he deserves respect, but Rachel isn’t getting it. They need to get to Waverly now, because she’s trapped with the demon who’s been after her her entire life. Wynonna’s only current plan is “save Waverly,” and she’s not sure on the specifics, but she needs to act now. Rachel doesn’t get what the hurry is — if Waverly’s still alive, Jolene’s plan obviously isn’t to kill her — and Wynonna finally admits it’s not just about that. The last thing she said to Waverly was calling her “a sanctimonious asshole,” and that can’t be the final words to her most important thing.

Nicole pipes up that Waves knows how Wynonna really feels, and what she couldn’t handle is Wynonna dying, so it’s time for Plan B, because that always has worked so well in the past. They try and get ahold of Jeremy for his fog cure, but he’s still incommunicado. Nicole’s radio is about to die, so Wynonna tells her to get back to their location as soon as she can and leaves Rachel in charge of Casey’s body. 

Doc is being marched at gunpoint through BBD, and his captor tells him he’s lucky because he gets “a one-way ticket on the ark,” and, no, things aren’t about to get even more biblical up in here. It’s just an expression. He sees Jeremy in another cell and tries to explain that there’s been a mistake, and it turns out Jeremy is in “the feed pen,” which sounds like it could be problematic. Doc takes the gun from his captor, Volkov, but Jeremy convinces him not to shoot, telling the other agent to go home and make sure his family can get out. 

Jeremy explains that he’s been locked up because “upper management” (The Powers That Be?) issued an order he’d never heard of, and when he challenged it, they locked him up. Desperate to get out, instead of trying to find a keycard, Doc shoots the card reader, bringing down a rain of BBD agents upon him. Whoops.

Wynonna’s pounding on doors at Black Badge, trying to get someone to open up. She finally succeeds and gets General Graham, the highest of upper management, and I just want to say, what a great name. He’s excited because he just got here and thinks Wynonna will make an excellent soldier in his army, but she isn’t going anywhere with anyone until she has her sister and her friends. Graham explains that the fog is about to eat the GRT for breakfast, second breakfast, lunch, and dinner, so she can’t stay, but, again, he just got here, and that argument obviously doesn’t work on our Earp heir. She’s not running; she’s staying and fighting, but he tells her fighting is not an option. There’s nothing they can do to combat the fog, but Wynonna doesn’t care. She didn’t survive two chili cookoffs just to be bested by a heavenly ground cloud. 

She demands to be taken to Jeremy, and she finds him in the cell with Doc. She asks for them both, and Graham tells him she can only have one, and she needs to choose…wisely. A look of understanding passes between Wynonna and Doc, maybe the first time they’ve actually seen each other in months, and she tells Jeremy the jagged little nerd is coming with her. The general suggests that she take Doc because he’ll be a better fighter, and suddenly, Wynonna spies a Clanton out of the corner of her eye. She says goodbye to both of her boys, because Cleo’s the victor in this most dramatic rose ceremony ever. Wynonna keeps apologizing to them as Jeremy shouts that they’re about to be turned into food and Doc begs her to reconsider.

Jolene cradles a bloody Waverly in her arms, and Waverly is begging her to make the pain stop. But Waverly’s the only one who can write her story, remember? Only she can stop her own pain, by becoming what she’s been all along. She just wants to go home, but Jolene berates her, telling her she needs to let her true nature out. 

Rachel has picked some wildflowers for Casey and promises to bring him home when they’re done and builds him a little shelter, too. Wynonna finally finds her again and says how nice the flowers are, and Rachel asks if this is what it’s like for Wynonna — just being surrounded by death and pain all the time. It is.

Rachel asks where everyone is, and Wynonna just tells her to come along. She grabs a chunk of Jolene’s hair from Casey’s hand and leads Rachel to a clearing, where Cleo is setting up a familiar ritual. She explains her plan — the Clanton heir will set a Reaper after Jolene, and Wynonna will follow him through the fog. Rachel just wants to make sure the Reaper isn’t Billy, and Wynonna’s mouth says no but the look she gives Cleo just says “shut the fuck up.” She hands the gun to the teenager and tells her to shoot Cleo if she does anything wrong. 

Much to Cleo’s delight, she’s able to summon the Reaper correctly, and surprise — Wynonna can see Billy the Reaper, too. She added a strand of Wynonna’s hair to the spell so the Reaper would be visible to her, and I’m just worried about the consequences of this, but I guess that’s future us’s problem, isn’t it?

Cleo clips a leash to Billy’s neck and bids him goodbye, then halfheartedly wishes a now-masked Wynonna luck, kind of, because, like Spike in “Family,” she doesn’t care what happens. A whistle from the Clanton heir, and Billy and Wynonna head into the fog. Wynonna throws open the door of the cabin and demands that Jolene get away from Waverly. The two demons engage in some fisticuffs, and Wynonna tries to get Waverly to stand up, although her pain is so much that she can barely stand. Waverly tells her to find Peacemaker and send Jolene to Hell…and then, if worst comes to worst, do the same with her.

The Reaper distraction is over, though, and Jolene Carries Wynonna out the door without her mask and into the fog as Waverly screams after her. Jolene taunts Waverly that Wynonna died knowing that Waverly didn’t love her enough to even try, and this is the final button press that our angel needed. 

An otherworldly scream comes out of her mouth and the area around her eyes goes dark, sort of if Gooverly had a goth/Crow phase. Jolene welcomes the demon Waverly — Wavermon? Deverly? — whose first order of business is killing her tormentor with her brain, robbing Jolene of the chance to see Waverly destroy the world.

Doc and Jeremy are trying to parse out what’s going on at BBD. Some demons are going to the ark since The Noah Protocol — hilarious — was activated. The humans are being kept as cheap food for the demons to eat, a real, live Doublemeat Palace of sorts. 

Suddenly, the finest food Purgatory has to offer peers around the corner — it’s Mercedes, a vision in 1980s Hope Brady-esque shoulder pads. She’s been hiding in the vents for hours and produces a stolen key card, which won’t work on the destroyed card reader. She asks Jeremy to hotwire the card reader, and as he’s doing that, she explains what her day was like. She was ready to go onstage when BBD showed up looking for a good time at The Glory Hole.

Jeremy manages to open the door, but then General Graham shows up. Jeremy tries to reason with him — this isn’t what BBD is about — but Graham tells him that their vow of “protection” is useless. They can’t protect anyone. But what they can do is take “their most valuable assets” with them — demons. Mercedes tries to reason with him and name-drop a very important custodian, but Graham just…shoots her. Mercedes. In the stomach. Mercedes.

Noooooooooo.

Wynonna’s crawling through fog on the forest floor, trying not to inhale. It finally recedes enough for her to breathe and still keep her noggin intact. She sees a figure coming toward her through the fog — it’s Waverly. Kind of. Just not the Waverly she knows. She must have gone to Jolene’s salon, too, because her hair is slicked back to match her demon eyes. 

Waverly tells Wynonna that her journey is over while hers has just begun…as two angel wings sprout from her back. 

RIP, Casey. He’s like that acquaintance you had from another time in your life, or a friend you have now that you just don’t have as much time to get to know as you’d like, and then suddenly they’re gone and a crushing sadness passes over you. The last time we saw him, he just kept saying what a fuck-up he was, but with Doc’s help, he realized he can be both a fuck-up and a hero, and Nicole wouldn’t have gotten as far as she did without him. I’m sad that he’s gone, and I’m grateful for the time that we had together. Andrew Phung brought such a chaotic-yet-comfortable energy to the role, and I can safely say that Casey is one of those characters we’ll still be missing in years to come. 

I think that the fight that Wynonna and Waverly had at the beginning has been building for these last few episodes. Wynonna sees herself as a person who will never be truly happy, really, and who uses sex and alcohol to dull her pain, and she feels her beacon of hope slowly slipping further and further away as she and Nicole get closer to their wedding. And she’s not just losing another sister; she feels like she’s losing her best friend in Nicole, too. Waverly, Waverly, Waverly, loved by everyone and finally giving up on her like everyone else has. She is just too stubborn and under Peacemaker’s control to see that Waverly is trying to save her, not leave her. She wants them to be happy together, not for Wynonna to always be on the outside looking in at a smiling, laughing WayHaught. 

And the scenes between Jolene and Waverly? Absolutely amazing. Both Zoie and Dom used every bit of real estate available to them — vocally, spatially, emotionally. Each and every scene was just perfect. It’s a damn shame that genre shows seldom get recognized for acting awards, because in addition to Melanie Scrofano being able to wallpaper her house with them, these two ladies should get every single award available just for this episode. They went for it and trusted the script to do the ground work, then just went beyond. 

Oh, yeah, how about that script, friends? Noelle Carbone crafted another one for the books. Despite all of the heavy losses from beginning to end, this may be one of my favorite episodes ever. I got goosebumps several times throughout, gasping and clutching my gay pearls and just staring, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. I continue to be impressed with these writers, and I’m so glad they’ve landed at our shit show. 

Jolene attacking Waverly for spending her time and energy on “silly” things like wedding planning really struck a chord for me, too. How many of us have been attacked or mocked because how we use our time seems like a waste to someone else? “I wish you still went to church.” “Why are you going to travel so far? A convention for what?” “It’s just a TV show.” But Waverly gets it — we can have it all. She can be a hero and a wife. I can be a grown-up and a fangirl. Like being hot and being smart, they’re not mutually exclusive. And if we have our family behind us — the important family, the one that we chose — the sky’s the limit, and not just for a funeral. 

Wynonna told Jeannie last week that she could stop what was coming, but battling a demonic version of her sister? That may be the one thing that she won’t let herself stop. Could she do it? For sure. Is she strong enough? Most definitely. Would she be able to handle the emotional toll of shooting yet another sister? I don’t think she could, and I hope we don’t have to find out.

Monica’s Random Thoughts of Randomness:

• The first demon Wynonna shot kind of looked like a hipster Cowardly Lion. 
• Maybe that Garden book is more of a journal than a novel; kind of like it’s a keepsake from the Garden Gift Shop™. Waverly’s the only one who can write her story, after all. Maybe she should prove the pen is mightier than the (Peacemaker) sword and show everyone how it’s done.
• Very on brand that Wynonna is less concerned about being an abusive asshole than she is about Waverly thinking she’s an abusive asshole.
• I gasped when Jolene slapped Waverly. Is it because of the actual slap or because Zoie Palmer looked so good in that flannel? NO ONE KNOWS.
• I loved the “FOR FREEDOM” shout-out.
• Wynonna screaming “Waverly” into the fog, so helpless and panicked, just broke my heart.
• Two MFM mentions in as many episodes!
• Mercedes’ time onscreen may have been brief, but it was absolutely perfect.

Monica’s Favorite Lines:

• Yeah, sure. Obi-Wan Wynonni, at your service.
• Purgatory’s not a place where people get to be kids.
• You covered Kraft Dinner with kimchi and weed.
• Knew you and I would get here eventually.
• Well, if marrying my sister was legal, I’d have done it already, so check your privilege. 
• Strap in! Strap on! Get your…stuff.
• Save your patronizing mouth garbage. I can be a hero and a wife.
• Imagine the weight of all of that blood on her hands because you wouldn’t lift one single angelic finger just to help her.
• I’ve been defending our shithole for too long against too many powerful enemies to lose it to magic weather. 
• Are you really taking me to see Jeremy, or is this a “stay sexy; don’t get murdered” situation?
• I’m so sorry…for so many things.

Friends, I love pickles, but I do not love the one we’re in right now. I’d like to tell myself everyone’s gonna be okay, but I’ve watched the show for four seasons, and I know that’s not always the case. Join me here for the only kind of unpacking you’ll do during a quarantined pandemic! But at least…

Wynonna Earp airs Fridays at 10/9c on SYFY and CTV Sci-Fi.